A Gunzerker's Deeds
by QQtecha
Summary: This is about Salvador and his adventures on Pandora a while after they killed jack and this is funny. Rated M for cursing( Mostly Spanish cursing to be exact), killing, and because it's Borderlands 2 and WUBB WUBB. CHAPTER 1 NOW UP


**The Gunzerker's deeds**

This fic is about Salvador and Stuff his does on Pandora. Sometimes he's solo, sometimes he has help. Warning: Has spoilers

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Borderlands, Gearbox or its affiliates.

Rated M for killing, language, and because it Borderlands

**Chapter 1: I don't give a Clap!**

"So what do you need me to do, Claptrap?" The burly short, truxican man known as Salvador questioned. He had his gun in his hand, a shotgun known as the critical conference call.

"Hmm… today you need to give me 10 scrap metal l pieces from the douchebag bandit buzzards, an old claptrap cpu and some other stuff that I'll send the details to your ECHO communicator." The Hyperion robot said.

"Too much, but a gunzerker can do anything!" He said. "Well first thing a gunzerker does is drink, off to Moxxi's." He added.

"Tell Moxxi I'm still trying to _get with her."_ He suggested while trying to move his arm in a nudging way but it didn't work. "Sigh." He said (FYI claptraps can't sigh or cough or sneeze so they say it, believe me).

The man walked to the center of attention of Sanctuary: Moxxi's bar. He walked in and sat next to his friend Gaige. They barely had work to do after they killed Jack, the warrior, and stopped Hyperion. "What are you doing here Gaige?" He asked. "Eh- Moxxi, give me the hardest cerveza you have" He ordered.

"Fine sugar but as of last night you're 10 beers lower than your usual 50." She told him while grabbing the beer from a well-placed ECHO device between her huge breasts.

"I'm here because I'm _so_ bored." She complained. "Terramorphous was too easy, Jack is dead and I hate farming for legendaries, you're so lucky to have your conference call." She listed. "Maybe I'll go and see if Lilith and Maya will tagalong to kill some bandits." She added.

"Just come with me, I'm doing a mission for that mudo robot." He answered.

"Maybe because last time we were on a mission I was down and you stared at my chest!" She said and then slapped him.

"I'm sorry, it's a gunzerker thing" He joked. "I'll send you the details, meet me at Tundra Express if you want to join." He said. He had finished his limit of 40 beers and left, being a gunzerker meant you have a _very _high alcohol toleration level. He reached the fast-travel station, punched in the numbers and went to Tundra Express. He finally got the details to the mission and was surprised at the name: I don't give a clap. He reached the buzzard academy (Actual place in Tundra Express in BL2) and activated gunzerk. His second weapon was another critical conference gall. He got was constantly hit and he was downed once but his Hide of Terramorphous got him up and it was still down so he just meeled every time he got close to someone. One unlucky shot killed him and it costed him $197,845 to respawn. He always hated the snappy comments the new Hyperion respawn machines said.

He went back in cleared the bandits, sent a message to Gaige and collected some of the items. He wanted her to come because he wanted to know if Deathtrap could kill the buzzards.

**Back in Sanctuary**

Gaige just received the message from Salvador and shrugged and went to the bank to grab her items. "Wonder what to use." She said with one hand on her chin. "Ooh, I have an idea!" She shouted. She grabbed a absorb shield, a Dahl pistol, her golden guns, and her Vault hunters' relic in case they rain into Vermivorous, her favorite grenade: Miss Moxxi's shock of death, and her roboteer class mod. She reached the Fast-travel station and went to Tundra Express.

**Tundra Express**

Immediately she sees shots in the sky in a cross pattern, it was Salvador's conference call shots. Despite the fire of the gun he kept missing, this mad Gaige laugh at this. She heard him yelling something but she thought it was his occasional gunzerker talk. She thought she should help so summons deathtrap with her robotic arm that everyone wants to know about. He rushes over to Salvador with deathtrap and realizes that Salvador is roaring:

"HIJO DE PUTA!" he repeats this phrase while managing to get one of them down. Gaige tells Deathtrap to attack the buzzard and it kills 5 of them in 1 swoop each.

"_AH_, retreat, retreat." One of the bandits screamed then the exact buzzard he was in crashed into the building on top of Tina's cave.

"I see somebody is getting down with some _fine azz womenz."_ she said on the ECHO system. "Let me blow some'o'dose suckas up with the big lady." She said with a suggestive in her voice. The 'big lady' was a new canon system she made. "Aim. Fire. Blow dem to assholes big lady!" She yelled. Then the rest of the bandits were shot down and the two vault hunters collected the pieces of scrap.

"Thanks sista." Gaige said trying to imitate Tina. They called each other 'sista' occasionally. "Well Salvador let's go get our reward." Gaige said enthusiastically.

"Si." He responded. "And my dreadlocks need some rest." He joked and let out a short but evil laugh. "Well, I'll tell claptrap you came." He added.

"Okay Salvador I have to go talk to Tina." She informed. He nodded. She walked to Tina's workshop and _fed_ Deathtrap some bolts from her storage device. "Who's the bestest best friend that a best friend can have?" Gaig said. "You are!" She cheered to the robot. She reached Tina's workshop and Deathtrap's timer went off and her went back into the ground.

**Sanctuary**

"So I see you have completed my task." Claptrap said to Salvador. "Your reward is now sent, please accept this payment, your teammate will receive hers shortly." He added. He sent the reward and Salvador was surprised at what he got: $100,000and a pistol called Claptraps thoughts.

"What is this?" Salvador questioned.

"You'll see if you try it out on the field, it's a _beauty_!" He chimed.

"Si" Salvador replied.

**Fink's slaughterhouse **

"Five…Four…Three…Two…One! Die!" yelled fink over the intercom of the arena. Salvador was at his usual training spot at Fink's Slaughterhouse. He came here this time to try out his new gun.

"Let's see what you can do!" Salvador yelled while drawing out the pistol. He shot a full round, the gun wasn't that bad. He tried to reload it, but the gun got rid of all his ammo and stopped his gunzerk recharge and froze his inventory. "Oh mierda!" He huffed**.**

"I don't give a clap!" The gun yelled.

"QUE SONE DE PUTA!"Salvador yelled. Salvador argued with the gun back and forth in a series of rants. After minutes of arguing with the gun, he finally died. He threw the gun from his inventory but it somehow came back into his inventory. "Fink, I'll see you later amigo." Salvador said while going to the fast travel in The Fridge.

**The Fridge**

"Well let's get home and curse the infierno out of that dumb culo of a robot!" He yelled to himself. He reached the fast-travel station. He punched in the numbers and to his surprise no place was there. "Voy a matar a ese hijo de puta!" He screamed. He couldn't go anywhere because of that gun. He had to go the long way to get to Sanctuary which was: The Fridge which was filled with rats and goliaths, then the stalker filled territory known as the highlands and then contact Lilith.

He was on his way when he remembered that Lilith could come get him with her phase walking abilities. He went to use his ECHO communicator and surprisingly it worked. He called Lilith and a very angry siren answered, "Salvador why are you calling me? "

"Hello Lilith, could you do me a favor and pick me up?" Salvador replied.

"Fine, but I'm expecting an explanation why you're gone." She commanded. He nodded almost as if she could see him which she could.

Lilith finally got there and looked angry. The reason why was because Salvador promised to take her and Maya to go kill stuff for the Loot Hunt (Real borderlands 2 loot event). She sent him to Sanctuary and she soon followed. Salvador had gotten use to the pain and temporary blindness of being teleported by Lilith, but it still stinged. After talking to Lilith about his story he finally realized why he came here and he was furious.

He went to the orange and white tin can and unleashed his anger.

**WARNING: HAS HEAVY SPANISH CURSING. I'LL TELL YOU WHEN IT'S SAFE.**

"**hijo de puta culo puta madre lata idiota imbécil forma voy a matarte y tomar tu aceite muy bajo grado de un dólar que recibió de culo del padre de alguien!" He yelled.**

**SAFE: Sorry, but Salvador's dialogue is like this**

"Woah woah woah, what did I do?" The robot questioned.

"You know what you did you son of a bitch!" He yelled.

"_Oh_, the gun. I don't give a clap!" He sneered while doing the thing with his arms to look like he was flipping him off.

**10 Minutes Later…**

"AAh!" The robot screamed running from the angry midget. His anger got the best of him.

Well guys thanks for reading. It is meant to be short and to all you flamers you BETTER have a good reason. I'll be working on a new chapter shortly, until then: wubb wubb wubb wubb wubb.

P.S.: Next Chapter will have Krieg and will involve anger.


End file.
